So, after I made my proclamation that being a hot mess drunk wasnt working for me, I stuck to the plan and did not, in fact, get drunk at any point yesterday. I also felt like crap anyway, but thats entirely beside the point. I went diving in the morning with my "baby" son (the only one left not taller than me yet but give him a minute). And by the way, we had a blast. Then I spent the afternoon with my middle son (incidentally taller than me).
And after spending about an hour on the beach with me, he started demanding that I drink a beer. I refused but he kept insisting so I gave in and attempted a beer. After that I ordered a coffee. And he looked so disappointed and began again insisting that I drink some kind of alcohol.
Ok. What? So, heres a sloppy summarization of how the conversation went down over a period of about 4 hours.
Boy: So I read on your blog you were going to stop trying to bebe drunk on the beach. Whats up with that?
Mom: Yeah. Wasnt making life go away. Wasnt working.
Kid: Mom, have a drink! C'mon. A beer. Tequila. Something.
Mom: Wtf? (Yeah.. I say WTF to my kids. I'm certain that if you're reading this you know that is perhaps the least of the parenting fails you should judge me for.)
Kid: Mom, You're so lame when you aren't drinking. Seriously, drink.
Mom: No! Pusher! I dont want to!
Kid: But I like 3 beers mom a lot better.
Mom: WTF?
Kid: Have some tequila.
Mom: Tequila and beer arent the same.
Kid: I like Tequila Mom too.
Mom WTF??
Kid: "You're like the complete opposite of an alcoholic, Mom. When you're sober, you are lame and when you're drunk you are awesome."
Mom: laughing now Wtf??!?
Kid: Mom! After 3 beers, you just say 'I dont give a fuck' (yeah.. he said the eff word TO ME) and you have fun and dont worry about the sickness and that lady at home or any of that stuff. You just laugh and have fun and do whatever you want. I like that Mom better. "Life is short Mom" is way better.
Mom: Cervesa, por favor!
Ok. What? So, heres a sloppy summarization of how the conversation went down over a period of about 4 hours.
Boy: So I read on your blog you were going to stop trying to bebe drunk on the beach. Whats up with that?
Mom: Yeah. Wasnt making life go away. Wasnt working.
Kid: Mom, have a drink! C'mon. A beer. Tequila. Something.
Mom: Wtf? (Yeah.. I say WTF to my kids. I'm certain that if you're reading this you know that is perhaps the least of the parenting fails you should judge me for.)
Kid: Mom, You're so lame when you aren't drinking. Seriously, drink.
Mom: No! Pusher! I dont want to!
Kid: But I like 3 beers mom a lot better.
Mom: WTF?
Kid: Have some tequila.
Mom: Tequila and beer arent the same.
Kid: I like Tequila Mom too.
Mom WTF??
Kid: "You're like the complete opposite of an alcoholic, Mom. When you're sober, you are lame and when you're drunk you are awesome."
Mom: laughing now Wtf??!?
Kid: Mom! After 3 beers, you just say 'I dont give a fuck' (yeah.. he said the eff word TO ME) and you have fun and dont worry about the sickness and that lady at home or any of that stuff. You just laugh and have fun and do whatever you want. I like that Mom better. "Life is short Mom" is way better.
Mom: Cervesa, por favor!
I did try. I still couldnt get far because I felt too bad but I got 3 beers in when I was ready and then came home and smiled at the boys. I had to go to bed after that because yesterday was a sick day but I'm cool with being 3 beers mom. Life is short, after all. Very very short. And my sons are maybe the coolest people ever. That middle one, he's my favorite today. ;)
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